1. Unexpected impulse. One day you discover that when you get to the second floor you get breathless. Or by watching a blog on the internet, you find that your life may be more interesting. Or you just meet your New Year resolution on the occasion of spring. Anyway, this results in the removal of your old bicycle from the basement.

2. You go with the bike for service. Guest explains to you that it's easier to change your bike. You challenge him and you explain that grandma would not buy you a communion shit.

3. You are going to pick up your bike. You call a bank who recently mentioned something about payday loans.

4. You collect the bike. You discover that he was red and had some writing on it. You spent so much that it's stupid you do not drive now.

5. You do your first 50 kilometers in your life.

6. You spend half a Monday on a story at work as it was and convince everyone that they have to start riding.

7. You ride to Critical Mass.

8. You start to hate car drivers. Pedestrians too. And the guest responsible for the infrastructure in your city.

 

car bike accident

 

9. You draw friends for rides. You drive from them faster and further.

10. You are observing your colleagues' equipment and you find that yours is bad.

11. You start to read the internet and after 3 months of reading comparisons you buy a new bike, which should last you until the end of your life. It is super expensive and fast - it costs PLN 2,000.

12. You fall into a shopping spree: you buy lamps, bells, horns, pedals (because the plastic broke) and a helmet in which you feel pro, but you look funny.

 

shopping at livigno

 

13. You make the first 100 kilometers.

14. The more you drive, the more you despise road bikes. Yours will go everywhere, and you do not drive at a slower pace.

15. You meet new cycling compatriots - they are faster and more efficient, and they also ride in this funny lajkra.

16. Slowly you're starting to catch up with new compatriots.

17. You buy a set of lajras in Lidl and you go to your first competition, because you are already tough.

18. It turns out that you are not. You arrive 67/79 (5 people had a defect and 8 did not finish).

19. For a week you do not download the starting number from the bike so that everyone knows.

19. You start to wonder if your bike is definitely good.

20. You are trying to get on the pedals, everyone drives them. You are ready for the first dump at lights, but it does not happen.

 

2008 - my first race in my life ;-)

 

21. You are starting more and more. You spend the entire Monday looking for photos of yourself and analysis, on which episode you were faster than the headlamp and calculating in which percentage you came.

22. People in Fejs are getting bored with your everyday status at Endomondo.

23. You change the bike for 6,000. Your results are slightly improving.

24. You can not take out the wheels in it, let alone set the shock absorbers.

24. You are leaving for a "heavy" MTB race to the south of Poland. You come back with a strange state between depression and excitement.

25. You wake up through the SPD for the first time. At the pedestrian crossing, in the middle of the city. Since then, you have traveled a circuitous route, avoiding this place.

26. Buddy lends you a road for a few days, when your bike is on the site.

27. You go with a sour face and you despise this sport.

28. You give away the road, you feel that something is wrong.

29. You think about her. Although you get along well with your MTB at home, you remember the moments together with the road. You are torn. Will there be a place for everyone in the house? Will you find time for both?

30. A friend of yours is selling a road in your size cheaply. Impulsively buy. You have remorse.

31. You say that you have not sat on MTB for half a year. You do not remember buddies with whom you traveled so many kilometers together.

32. You're spinning faster and faster. You are bored with kitchen stories about a 50-kilometer trip of friends in the kitchen. You also listen to contempt with friends who start in triathlons.

33. You are riding on the first, real, road set. You break back after 15 minutes.

34. You train in loneliness. You're like a Tiger Mask, like Tommy Lee Jones. You get up early in the morning, eat healthy, sleep for a long time.

35. You find that a bike is a good way to get to know:
- husband: The choice of athletic guys is so big that you do not know what to do
     1. You recognize this one.
     2. You see him in the evenings when he goes to sleep after training and on Saturday morning when you take him to the competition.
     3. Separated. It means you, because it overlooks this fact.
     4. The situation is repeated 3 times.
     5. You stop looking for a husband because the bike is better, or you can find one from the end of this entry. Or you can spend the money on the bike and save the money.

 

the stick stuck a sticker on the stelvio

 

- Wives: it turns out that 573 guys and 3 girls are riding on your bike
     1. Discouraged, you decide to find a girl outside and get her involved in cycling.
     2. Go for a walk.
     3. After a walk, you have soreness for a week.
     4. You state that you do not have time for that.

36. Going to the road set. You break somewhere in the middle

 

bald guy on a bike

 

37. You train in loneliness. You discover 15 other road settings. Not just racing.

38. You sell MTB and highway to buy a road that is 2kg lighter.

39. You wear high socks. You'll never dress shorter anymore, because they are trzepackie.

40. You start to make long changes in your peloton.

41. You start to leave your peloton.

42. You know all the rules of Velominati by heart.

42. You despise the MTB. You scatter the shields. You probably despise the electric derailleurs, but you're not sure.

43. You also despise short socks, sleeveless shirts, fenders, accessories by the frame, behind shorts, helmets with visor and spectacles on helmets.

44. You set up a blog where you upload your routes and photos of your head during training. In this way, more people will see how much you have traveled today. Well, once you win something, you will be able to sponsor the photo from the box, so that the aliens will also see it.

45. After you see the first three comments, you shave your legs.

46. ​​You change the training group, you are the weakest again.

47. The situation repeats several times until you become objectively fast.

48. You go to Rondo Babka, you get in the peloton

 

 

49. You go to Rondo Babka, you start to form escapes, You run behind the peloton, because you forget to break down energy.

50. You start to race in road races. It turns out that you commute in the lead - along with the first group.

51. You are pro, so you buy accessories and clothes for a million.

52. You have nothing to talk to people at work.

53. First time you get on the road with electrics and shields. You do not want mechanical derailleurs anymore.

54. You do not know what to write about, you come up with fake theses, with which you later disagree when writing. You collect thousands of likes, because everyone agrees with you.

55. You spend so much on the advertising of the blog that various companies start to talk to you.

56. You start to test everything and make a mistake. You run a campaign: praise for freebies.

57. You get 10 kilos of nutrients from a known company.

58. After the first race, you spend 3 hours in the bathroom. Every day, for a week.

59. For hours you read whether it is better to have 6 bars in 28mm or 7 bars in 25mm.

60. You are discovering photo coloring applications and an imitation slider. The reality looks better from that day. Much better.

61. You discover relive. Since then, after each ride you throw an animation of your ride.

62. You know every segment on Stravie in the area.

63. Half of these segments is founded by you.

64. Each of your Stravie rides is divided into 4 separate activities that you throw in: access, passage, travel, departure.

65. When choosing a place for a vacation, you suggest the number of roads to the road.

66. On your holiday in Tenerife, you rent a road on the shields. You like it, but you can not admit it.

67. You buy cross-country because you've heard on the internet that it's cool.

68. Throughout the winter you hobble and walk battered in strange places. Next you claim that it's a great sport.

69. The topics are quite ending on the blog, you are beginning to throw in food.

70. You are riding on the first road race in the mountains. You have worked solidly in the winter, so you will be good. The headlamp puts you in an hour. You discover that the mountains are not Masovia.

 

 

71. Before going outside, you will load gears, GPS, power meter, lights, heart rate monitor, 20 minutes you will wonder which bike to choose, what gear to do, then you train at home, because the wind blows so that you will die on the cones.

72. You train, find a trainer, arrange a diet.

73. You sign a contract with a company that delivers food in boxes.

71. You point out to anyone who eats unhealthilythat he would die from it soon.

74. You find that the less you drive, the faster you are. Instead of trips, you do workouts. Instead of 20 hours a week, you drive 10.

75. It turns out that you are a talent and commute in the mountains.

76. You go to the elite. You are going on the golfer, as usual, you break off after 20 kilometers.

77. The situation repeats several times, and what is worse, you can not compete with your buddies.

78. You're in Bormio the fifth time. You never entered Stelvio, Gavii, Mortirolo, because the interval ends halfway and you have to turn back.

79. You find that it does not make sense, because it will always be faster. Always.

 

 

80. You give up the elite and dream about being a famous cyclist. You're employed at McDonalds. You are the king of life, because in the end you have some money.

81. You are bored, you give up your trainer and diet. In amateur races, when driving on a slack you have the same results.

82. Life in which you eat what you want and when you want it becomes beautiful. You take 3 kilograms and the weight stops.

 

 

83. You buy MTB, just out of boredom.

84. You find that nobody really is interested in your results, workouts, or what you ate for breakfast, but only related stories.

85. You do not care, you start to play on the golfer. You do workouts, although the internet says that it is better to go on trips. You make trips, even though the internet says that it is better to train.

86. You put on short socks and it does not bother you.

87. You buy an electric bike.

88. After reading this list you can easily add 20 additional points.