How to lose races & #8230; to win




I have quite bad news for you in the context of the upcoming autumn. Ahead of us are the months during which man starts to get bored, because it is cold, dark and smog outside. Of course, we have Zwift and then it is only dark and smog or even smog at all, but it will even fit in well with today's topic. When the riders are bored, they start reading: about equipment, about training, about nutrition, about supplements and so on. Very bad news (because the previous one was only a little bad) is that I made some mathematical calculations and it turned out that:



Statistically speaking, at least 99 out of 100 people reading this blog will never win anything in cycling.



Even if I don't know how expensive a bike they bought, how much they invested in a knot and how they trained, unless they find a competition in the category narrowing the number of participants to a dozen or so, it probably won't work. Never. 

And just as I once wrote bravely on topics that I know as much as I read from others, this time I decided to write something I know about: how to lose.


Believe me, it will be more useful to you in life.

There are many factors involved in losing, and as a true expert on this topic, I could be tempted to book. It would be about how to lose and how:

 & #8211; The mother should answer her son when he asks: & #8222; mom, and why is dad so far away? & #8221; or & #8222; mom, why hasn't dad yet ridden? & #8221;

 & #8211; Respond to the question of the man securing the route when he asks: & #8222; sorry, are you still from the race? & #8221;

 & #8211; Explain to my wife an additional PLN 5,000 for wheels 230gr lighter when you achieve success on Tatra Road Race coming in 73rd place?

 & #8211; Answer colleagues when they ask & #8222; How did the race go, did you win? & #8221;

 & #8211; Answer a colleague to the question & #8222; Why didn't you come with us in departure & #8221; or & #8222; What happened where you disappeared? & #8221 ;?

Or just be able to answer the question & #8222; how did it go? & #8221;



Let's focus on the most important issue. Because there are things more important than equipment, family, money, friends & #8211; INTERNET. It is there, after all, all those people who are most interested in the result and haters who are just waiting to get to man. So, I thoroughly analyzed blogger entries after many races (including mine) and built a compendium of knowledge on how to lose in life, but to win on the internet, namely:




How do you sum up a race that lost?



1. Provide the conditions under which you would win

that is: If grandma was a grandfather, she would get DSQ for using hormones



This is very important because it makes us almost winners. In general, we won it, just something & #8230; It usually comes down to the fact that the finish line was too far. As if it was 200 meters closer or one lap, we would be the first.

I remember my first start in a road race (not a mountain race) & #8211; Tour de Rybnik in 2012 Exactly the same one from which there is a movie from the times when youtube cycling team did not exist yet, which I ended up in the hospital, so I watch it pretty well: The whole race I rode in toppings (like the 95% starters) and as I started my sprint 500 meters before the finish, 300 meters before her, I already had a serious reserve of distance over the peloton. Then something strange happened, because a stone's throw from the finish line passed me with 50 guests at such a pace that it seemed to me that I was standing still. Well, they were laughing, but I knew I almost won.

There are many examples like this: if only I could stay in this escape, if I had a team to distribute, if I was in my backyard and knew my rivals and so on & #8230;



2. Specify exactly how hard you did not exercise


You are passionate about bicycles, at night you dream of bicycles, during the day you put on filters on the allegro, in the evening you practice near Maciej. When the end of the year comes, you upload graphics with a summary, according to which you spent more time with the bicycle than with a pillow, and you have so many kilometers that you count how much is left to the moon. In races it works exactly the opposite: here you have to mark how much you did NOT train.



This is very important because it shows that as you said in primary school, & #8222;you are capable but lazy& #8221; she was right. You really are better than the competition, you just didn't exercise enough. Here, statements such as & #8222; help, despite only x hours of training, I managed to & #8230; & #8221; or & #8222; despite the recent terrible workload, & #8230; & #8221; have succeeded. I know because I did it myself summarizing the Karkonosze Triathlon.



3. Say something about doping and controls


If your colleague was at the same level as you last year, and this is faster then there can be only two applications. The first of them, that he worked more honestly and trained better can be rejected immediately, so the second one, default. The one anyone thinks about każualwhen he hears about people riding for three weeks in the mountains. The one he thinks about when he sees a guy who has been riding a bike for 2 years and already wins. The boundary from which people get & #8222; supplement more & #8221; there are usually several places in the list of results ahead of you. They came up or not & #8211; no matter, amateur cycling is after all a free American and an admonition that all the shines make you clean first, i.e. the winner.




4. Blame others for lack of life


If someone practices more, drives in the early morning and late in the evening there is no whip & #8211; must have no life. You have, which makes you a winner among people who live normally and lead only reasonable competition. Maybe you weren't the first, but you took the girl to the cinema lately, so you won the life in total.



5. That equipment


We all know that, to a large extent, the result does the equipment. If you had one like your colleagues, you would also get there. Your wheels are too heavy, too low, too high, too soft, too hard & #8230; unless someone asks about it. Then you say they are great, expensive and you recommend.



There is also this unfortunate situation when you already have a bike for one hundred million. Fortunately, in such bikes we can find many non-standard applications, usually requiring either specialized knowledge or at least a unique tool (best regards Campagnolo). If something goes wrong, it will definitely happen the day before the competition. In this situation, your bike is still the fastest, but that just half a cassette does not enter it is just the fastest, but & #8222; exceptionally not today & #8221; It is not your fault that they did not have such a key in the countryside.



6. Find the places where you won

Okay, you may not have been at the finish line first, but between kilometer 37 and 39. HOW YOU dealt with the creation of a special segment. It will start a moment after the start of the uphill ride and end 600 meters before the summit. To not look silly, you will call it: & #8222; Driveway from the trash to the third bench & #8221 ;. If you did not have such a fragment, you can always find a ready segment, on this segment of some millet, and proudly write it at the same time, tagging that you were better there. The biggest chance is with segments named & #8222; dangerous cycle path at the kindergarten & #8221 ;. In the worst case, you can also write & #8222;only 3 seconds loss on the segment to @Kwiato„.



In addition, you can compare inter-holiday, other segments, fragments and above all: how many people are overtaken. At the last mass race you started in the back, so you overtook 665 people and reached 170. The winner moved from 20th place, so he overtook only 19, which made you do better.



7. Count how many people started


This connects slightly to the previous point. It sounds much better: & #8222; I overtook 750 people & #8221; than & #8222; I was 320 & #8221 ;.




8. Emphasize that the conditions were not favorable, so you were reasonable.


The finish from the group would have won, but you let go because fear in such crowds.

The pace was such and the peloton so high that the risk of misfortune was too serious.

Race in the mountains to win, but slippery, so fear for life.

The route was full of holes, so it was a matter of time.

Those who took part in it are unreasonable, so the fact that they came before you clearly means that they have nothing to lose in life. Przegrywy.



9. That there is nowhere to train


After all, if you live in Masovia, you can't ride in the mountains afterwards. Pedaling uphill is completely different pedaling than flat or upwind. Your Mazovian colleagues have no problem with that, but they spend 2 weeks in Majorca in February, and you only have a week, so it completely changes the situation. If you lived in the mountains, you would also win.




10. Indicate that it was a training / test start

At the end you always have to add that you treated the start as a training / test / test and you know that you could do better but something. It is important that people do not think that this result is the result of a serious approach to the matter. Here you only came to draw conclusions for the future and define your training plan as & #8222; plus & #8221 ;.



11. You can always win with yourself


If something has happened so unfortunately that the number of people defeated is surprisingly short, there is always the person you have defeated & #8211; it's you. By starting you have beaten yourself and turned out to be a better version of yourself, tomorrow, yesterday, today & #8230; or something like that.




& #8230; unless you win, then lose.

Unless a miracle actually happened and you managed to win or were on the box. Then you can write that victory, but you were hoping to win in a much better style. Then you will show that you are even better because you were counting on even more, and it will be very nice to others.



I write the text as a specialist with 6 years of experience in niewygrywaniu. Thanks to numerous, regular starts, which I managed not to win (one place in my life first place and one victory of the Universe Championships) and a blog, on which I summarized these achievements, I can boast a perfectly mastered form of mental overstatement of my result. Even in the photos for this post I had to use the results of my girlfriend & #8230;


-> this entry is not entirely serious ;-) <-